I have never been one to try and phish for compliments or have that annoying desire to have people praise me. However, quite frankly right now I have never felt as unflattering or ugly as I do at this very moment. Every aspect of myself, and the journey of this weight loss not only terrifies me but it seems that much more like a dream than a reality. The chances of me keeping this off for five years are EXTREMELY slim. That scares the living holy shit out of me. What if in the off chances I loose the weight and become happy that a year later I'll just gain it all back?
People weren't lying when they say loosing weight is a constant struggle. I have never felt so lazy in my life due to I have barely gone to the gym and am starting to find no motivation. Excuses are just that, excuses. Life doesn't "Just happen" to the point where its too busy to find 30 minutes to go and take a walk or dance around the house for 20 minutes. No, we always find the easy way to do things. Myself included.
Every girl's desire whether straight, gay, black, white or latino is to be alluring or pretty. We want to feel like either a princess, a vixen or a classic beauty. However, the standards for not only women but beauty in and amongst itself are causing this girl to loose all hope. Which quite frankly scares me. The problem might be that I kind of gave up on the blog a little bit due to I wasn't really seeing readers, call me narcissistic but I believed I'd draw in more people. Starting off is always rough. I don't believe in giving up, at least not this easy. I'll try and each week to post one, instead of one per day like originally planned. Each thursday plan to see something from this fat goddess. But in the meantime I'm going to sit here curled up with my pizza and write.
Happy Travels and the such
-Emi <3
